I Pretended to Know

 As sure as there is a Harvest moon,

sure as shit,

I wasn't immune to your
violent heart.
I hardened my heart
until it was brittle,
as the trees are in Autumn;
you crunching the leaves under foot
as you walked all over me.

I pretended to know
that God will save you
someday.
After forgiving you
for all your heinous acts
on me,

I knelt down and prayed.

I had to remove myself from you
for all the bruises on my neck
when you tried to choke me;
or those cuts and scrapes
from one of my alleged "falls."

Even after that,
I struggled with
my love for you.

So stupid was I.

When you finally
succumbed to
your cardiac arrest,
it was then I knew
my evil god had finally fallen.

I have not pretended to know
how I leapt with joy
over your death.

It was then that
I pretended to know
God had taken you home.

-Laurie Perrone
copyright 2024

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